Is Marriage A Scam?

After years of pondering, observing, counseling, and teaching, a bold question emerged in my heart and mind—Is marriage a scam? It wasn’t a question born out of cynicism or heartbreak, but from deep reflection on the diverse stories I’ve heard over the years—stories from counseling rooms, seminar halls, village courtyards, church pews, and mental health circles across continents. As a marriage and family therapist, chaplain, and scholar, I’ve listened to countless voices—young couples disillusioned by unmet expectations, elders recalling cultural practices long abandoned or misunderstood, women carrying religious burdens in silence, and men torn between tradition and modern identity. I’ve taught and facilitated workshops that left me with more questions than answers, especially when the ideals we preach don’t always match the realities people live. This book doesn’t question the sacred institution of marriage itself, but rather invites a re-examination of how marriage is perceived—through the lenses of culture, religion, ancestral traditions, modern influences, and mental health. Is it a divine covenant? A cultural obligation? A social construct? A psychological trap? Or perhaps a bit of each? I invite you, dear reader, to journey through these pages with curiosity and courage. Don’t come looking for one right answer—come willing to sit with the hard questions. This book is not meant to dismantle your belief in marriage, but to challenge the myths and motivations that often surround it. Read with an open mind. Reflect deeply. Talk about it in your community, your family, your faith circles. And when you’re done, ask yourself again—with wisdom, with empathy, and with honesty—Is marriage a scam? Or is it something we’ve misunderstood all along? Let’s begin. Read more